Boy Talk
by thylacine
Summary: Harry and Ron, on the train back to Hogwarts, get to discussing their relationships. Touching divulgences, regrettable impulses, and awkward silences ensue. Harry/Ron, duh.


Harry and Ron lounged in the train compartment together, on the way back to Hogwarts.  "Chocolate frog, Harry?" Ron wiped traces of chocolate from his lips.

"Nah, thanks, I'm full," said Harry, patting his stomach.  They were alone in the compartment; they sat beside each other, and their baggage was piled on the seats opposite.  Hedwig and Pigwidgeon hooted companionably to one another. Ginny and Hermione had run off to engage in "girl talk," as Ron had put it, rolling his eyes.  There was a comfortable silence between the two boys.  The train rumbled rhythmically beneath them, the country scenery rolled by smoothly, their stomachs were full.  Harry was glad to be on his way back to school; his summer with the Dursleys had been predictably intolerable.  The only good thing had been the last few weeks, which he had spent with Ron and his family at the Burrow.

"'S'funny," Ron mused, "how things turn out, isn't it?"

"How do you mean?"

"Just… the people in your life, you know?  Where things go.  Friends, and… girlfriends, and all that." Ron fiddled with the frayed edge of his sweater sleeve.

"I guess so," said Harry.  "To think how a few years ago I didn't know you, or Hermione, or Ginny."

"Yeah," said Ron, and chuckled.  But his face was troubled, as though he were struggling with something.  "Just think, that annoying know-it-all with the bushy hair ended up as my girlfriend.  And the famous Harry Potter ended up as my best friend."

Harry looked over at Ron.  They shared a grin.  "Yeah," said Harry softly, settling back against the cushioned seat.

"You know, it's…" Ron's expression darkened.  "It's weird.  Sometimes I feel like… me and Hermione… we're so close, you know?  We always have been.  All three of us, really.  Ever since we were First Years."  Harry nodded, letting his friend talk.  It seemed that there was something on his mind he badly wanted to say.  "Sometimes it's like… we're so close—me and Hermione, I mean—that she might as well be my sister."  He looked up at Harry.  "I love her and everything, you know?  I really do but… sometimes I feel like we were really just meant to be good friends.  Like maybe my feelings for her were more…you know, brother-like, than anything else."

"Really?"  This surprised Harry a bit.  He had suspected that Ron was in love with Hermione long before they were dating, and it had never occurred to him that Ron wasn't in love with her still. "When you started dating—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know.  All the stuff about me seeing her with Krum, and being insanely jealous and everything.  I think I was afraid that she'd leave us.  Leave me.  That she'd think he was better than us, better than me.  I mean, Seeker for Bulgaria.  Bloody brilliant athlete.  How can you compete with that?"

"Hey, Ron, you're better than a hundred Krums." Harry squeezed Ron's shoulder.

"Thanks, Harry," said Ron, perking up a bit.  He looked into Harry's face with sincere tenderness.  "That really means a lot to me, coming from you.  I mean," he said, looking down, "you've always been… so _great_, you know?"

"Yeah," Harry scoffed bitterly.  "Harry Potter the hero.  The Boy Who Lived."

"No no," said Ron quickly, "I don't _mean_ that.  That's the thing.  You have all this glory and all this fame, but that's not what I mean when I say you're great.  I don't mean what you've _done_, I mean… who you _are_.  You… I look up to you, Harry," said Ron, breaking his gaze and staring at the floor. "Because you're… brave, and clever, and funny, and noble.  If You-Know-Who never existed you'd still be that way, and if you never won a Quidditch match or solved a quest, you'd still be that way."

Harry felt tears coming to his eyes.  "Thanks," he managed to say.  They sat in silence for a few minutes.  "You know," Harry began, "that's the thing with Ginny."  Ron raised his eyebrows curiously.  "What I mean is… you and me, Ron, we've been through so much.  No matter how big the stakes were, no matter what I had to deal with… you were there.  And during the times when nothing much was going on, when all I was worried about was Potions homework, or beating Malfoy in the next match, or getting up the nerve to ask Cho out, you were there then too.  You see all sides of me.  I'm not The Famous Harry Potter to you, I'm just Harry."

"'Course you are, Harry," Ron said softly, with a smile.

"And I feel like Ginny sees me as The Famous Harry Potter.  The noble, dashing hero who saved her from death, who fought Voldemort and lived, the hope of the wizarding world.  She _idolizes_ me.  And I can't bloody take it anymore."  As he said it, Harry realized it was true.  He shook his head.  "I can't.  I get enough of it from the people who don't know me.  But from the people who _do_ know me—or should—I don't want that.  I just want people who… who see me like I really am.  Who can be there for the worst times, and also just… be there.  Every day.  And have it be enough.  Be happy with me even if I didn't save the world.  Love me, even if I never did anything more heroic than catching the Snitch before Slytherin."

            "_I_ love you, Harry," said Ron, smiling shyly.  Harry smiled back, tears filling his eyes.

            "I love you too, Ron."  They held each other's gaze.  Ron's blue eyes shone brightly in his freckled face.  He gently leaned forward and caught Harry's lips in a kiss.

            Harry jerked away.  "What the—Ron!?" Ron stared at Harry wide-eyed.  He was blushing furiously, and his eyes were huge with panic.

            "Sorry!  I don't what came over me Harry I am SO sorry please just forget it happened I just—" Ron babbled.

            "Ah, it's okay, it's okay," Harry said hastily.  "Calm down." He was blushing too, at least as much as Ron.  "Ah.  The thing is, Ron," he managed awkwardly, "I… um, I totally love you, as a FRIEND I mean, you're my best friend in the world, and I'm sure if—well, it's that um.  I… I don't fancy guys, okay?"  Ron nodded frantically.

            "Yeah, I totally understand, I'm sorry I did that.  I just…" Ron swallowed, looking hurt. "I guess I just… misunderstood things.  I'm really sorry."

            They sat for a few minutes in excruciatingly uncomfortable silence.

            "Ron, I just want to say—"

            "Harry, I understand if you—" they began simultaneously.

            "No, what were you going to say?" said Harry.

            "No no, you go ahead.  Sorry to interrupt."

            "No really, you go first," said Harry.

            "No, honestly!" Ron squeaked, waving his hands.

            "Uh, okay," Harry began.  "Ron… you're a really important person to me.  You're my best friend.  Still.  Always will be.  And uh… damn, this is really awkward.  Anyway, even though this is… weird… I still want to be friends.  If you do."

            "Oh, of course!" said Ron, seeming relieved. "I was going to say—I totally understand if you never want to speak to me again.  But I guess you do.  Want to speak to me again, I mean."

            "'Course I do, Ron," said Harry with a grin.  "After all, this isn't the first time a guy has planted a kiss on me.  And I'm still friends with Neville, aren't I?"

            "You… NEVILLE?!"

            "Yup," said Harry, almost smugly.  "Let him know I wasn't interested.  He nearly died more times than I can count in the next couple of weeks, tripping over things whenever he saw me.  He was so nervous and embarrassed.  But we worked it out.  And things will be okay with us, too."

            "Yeah," said Ron, seeming encouraged.

            "No way am I going to lose you, Ron."

            "Good," said Ron, staring at his lap and smiling.  "You're still my best friend, Harry."

            "And you're still _my_ best friend, Ron."  They hugged.  A bit awkwardly.

They broke apart as Hermione slid back the compartment door and came in, followed by Ginny, who looked a bit shell-shocked.  

"Hey Ginny," said Harry, raising an eyebrow.  "All right there?"

"What?  Uh… yeah!" exclaimed Ginny distractedly, and pushed aside Hedwig's cage to sit down.  Hermione sat down quietly next to Ron.  Some more awkward silence ensued.

"Um," tried Harry.  "How was girl talk?"

"Very revealing," Hermione muttered darkly, and slouched next to the window. 

_Fin_


End file.
